30 Life Lessons for 30 Years

A listicle, birthday edition

Today is my birthday. I turn 30. In the spirit of living a third of my life, give or take a decade, I want to share, in lovely listicle style, 30 things that I have learned thus far about myself and my life. I am sure this list will change and grow over the next decade, but nonetheless, may you find something in my understanding of myself that can also serve you on the journey of understanding yourself. 

And as a continuous shameless plug, Home: Meditations on Living in the Present is out now on Amazon. Please consider purchase.

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If you know anyone who would like this newsletter send them the share link to check it out. The more the merrier. 

Enjoy.

With love,

Kim 

30 Lessons on Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness from 30 Years Around the Sun

1. When you want to get clear on something, stop avoiding yourself. 

To that:

1. A daily practice of meditation can change your life. 

2. Feelings are made of water. You can’t hold on to them. They are always changing. They must move, let them. 

3. Therapy is a useful tool, but so is poetry. They are both needed.

4. Compassion is a soft but fierce mother.

5. You are and were never broken. 

   Even if your past left a scar, even if your nervous system remembers, even if sometimes things are too loud, too scary, too much and your actions are more then than now and you might cope with the world in ways that you’d rather not, you are not broken. Trauma of whatever scale doesn’t make you broken. 

6. Healing is loving yourself as you are. 

   To quote bell hooks, “Love is as love does.” because…

7. Love is a verb. An active and ongoing practice. 

8. Sometimes loving someone else and wanting that relationship to succeed is the best motivator for learning how to love yourself.  

9. Let yourself be supported. You don’t have to be strong all the time.  

10. Conflict doesn’t have to be a battle. Conflict can be an opportunity for connection.

11. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with others. It’s the kindest and most respectful course of action, but not always the easiest. 

12. Laughter & hugs are good measures of success. 

13. You can outgrow a relationship (platonic, romantic, ect) but that doesn’t mean you stop caring about that person. You can still wish them well & mourn the loss of something meaningful to you. 

14. It takes two people to make a relationship of any kind work. To that you aren’t always at fault for it not working out.

15. Best explained through Old Friends & My Friend Andrew 

16. Give people the chance to love you. 

    Which reminds me, to stop making things so precious. 

17. You are not for everyone (and that’s okay)

18.  Life is best lived with your hands (or feet) in the dirt, in the tangible, the messy, the imperfect.

19. The best medicine is a walk in the woods. 

20. Sing because it makes you happy & dance for the joy of it. 

21. Write because it fills your soul.  

22. Purpose is in the creation 

23. Consistency: arpeggio, fermata, still makes music.  

    You don’t have to always be going at the same speed to be moving toward something. You don’t always have to prioritize the same thing to see growth. Your intensity can change. You can slow down, stop and start again. Seasons will come and go. You will step back and back again. All of which is still progress. 

    30 years with a body–All of which is still progress. 

24. Sometimes you just need to own up to the harm you’ve caused.

25. Sometimes you just need to hold your belly, your thighs, your face and tell them you love them (and that you are sorry). 

26. Sometimes you just need to let it all go. 

27. Crying is cathartic. So is a nap. 

28. Mistakes are inevitable.

29. Change doesn’t come without deliberate action and intention. 

30. Don’t forget to breathe.